he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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