I faked an abortion last night.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
