I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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