She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
