I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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