I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
