Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize