Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
