And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
