real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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