5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
