She said her name was "party"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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