I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
