i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
