Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize