"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
