Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
