There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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