I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
no you cant smoke seaweed
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
