it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
