You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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