Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
