He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
