I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Randomize