I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
