Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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