I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Life is so much better after having sex.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
