the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just pee around me
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
