Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
