dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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