So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
