He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
