I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
