Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
