so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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