If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
