Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
