We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
