is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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