Duck Duck Cougar?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
