Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
vagina is talking i cant
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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