Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
