It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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