Acid is not a monday night drug
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
