i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
