playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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