Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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