If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
COCAINE IS GR8
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