is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
