Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
