ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
