you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
