you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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