is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
