okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
