Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
wow bdsm is so cute
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
