So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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