By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
