I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
