wanna go halves on a baby?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
