I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
