What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
