i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
