lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
