If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
