One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
