Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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