I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I think i got beer on your cat.
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