Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
