Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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