He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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