my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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