I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
