My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We're too hungover to prance.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
