Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she pinky promised me she was 18
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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