we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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