If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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