You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize