why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
