I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
